Get a $25 credit from Stitch Fix!
She always needs to know where I am. The rare times I am away from her, her first question is: Mom, where will you be?
Grandpa and grandma come over to babysit. Mom, where will you be?
Grandpa and grandma are going to take her to a show. Mom, where will you be?
We are going to grandpa and grandma’s house. Mom, where will you be?
when my little darling turned two
Unless you count being in labor with her little sister, I have never been away from my three-year old for an overnight. When I told her that she would be spending the night at Grandpa and Grandma’s alone for the first time, she said: I won’t need you there.
Her smiles and giggles were asking for me to grab her and kid around with her, telling her: Of course you need me! We joked around about it, but it got me thinking: I’m not ready for this!!
I feel like in her look she was telling me: Mom, you are attached. You are going to struggle with this. Be prepared. This will not be easy.
No, I’m talking about the night away. I’m talking about the fact that during the upcoming years she will be growing more and more independent from us.
The first few years are so intense. Especially the newborn stage, when they can do NOTHING without dad or mom. I have been home with her, so she really is my little sidekick. We spend every waking second of every day for days (sometimes weeks) in a row when we are not apart. So wonderful, but it makes me brace for what is ahead.
We want her to be capable and independent. We want her to be able make decisions on her own and succeed in taking care of herself. We will want her to move away from dependence on us and move toward being independent. We want her to grow into a confident, competent, responsible adult. We don’t want her to rely on us for each and every detail of life. We want her always lean on her Lord and rely on Him.
I realize we are years away {Lord willing} from letting her go. Years away from her moving out. Years away from not having frequent (if not constant) daily interactions with her.
I cannot even comprehend or write about what this looks like. She is three and I rarely think past her going off to kindergarten.
There is so much work between now and then. I’m sure there will be both tears and joy as we figure out how to teach her so that she will be able to thrive on her own. And guide her to continue following her Lord’s guidance.
Her response about not needing me, just gave me a quick glance into what these years will be like. It was just a snippet of thinking about letting her go. I think it will be a struggle for me. I hold her so tight. So close.
She had a rough morning the other day. I gave her extra cuddles and attention because I knew she needed it. It still was not enough. When I finally got out of her what she was fussing about, she said: “I need a hug, mom. I need a little more love right now.”
I was relieved. It brought me back to having a three year old who constantly needs me. I’m a long ways from having to send her off on her own. I’ll just have to gather up strength for what lies ahead. We will grow in this together.
You will receive free updates, morning motivation, printables, blog post highlights, and occasional deals sent your way. Frequency?? Just a few times per month.
Sarah says
Letting go is SO hard. My son is three and the first time I dropped him off at a friend’s house for his first day of preschool co-op I wanted to cry. He ran inside, said “bye mom” without even looking back. I wanted to cry. Granted, he was super excited when I came to pick him up, but knowing that he doesn’t need me the way that he used to is really hard.
admin says
I just try to remember that if they need us that desperately when they are in their twenties, it would drive us nuts! So it’s a good thing…right?
Cathy says
I love this! My youngest is kindergarten bound next year, and I am just not ready to let go! It will be harder on me then on her! Thank you so much for sharing this on Making Memories Mondays! I am so glad that you came!
Cathy
admin says
Yes, I think it’s much harder on mom!
Elizabeth says
Awe! I’m still working on it. I was away for one night when my daughter was nearly three, but she was home with daddy. She still hasn’t had her first true overnight without us (she is 3.5). It will probably happen soon and I know she will be fine… but I know I’ll be nervous regardless! Thanks for sharing – I am so there.
admin says
Still working on it? I think we will be working on this for a loooong time. :)
Maria says
This is beautifully written. I understand what you’re saying when letting go. My daughter is only one and there are already glimpses of her independence showing through. Like you, there will come a day when I have to let go as well. And like you said, I’m a long ways from that. Yet, still I can’t help but think about it. I think it makes me cherish these times I STILL have with her though. Where I can still cuddle her and make her feel better. When I can still light up her world and I can still capture her attention with simple things. Time flies quickly with the little ones, and your post just reminded me to cherish each moment I spend with her just a bit more. To hold her tightly just one more time, before she goes off and finds her own independence. Thank you for such a beautiful post :)
admin says
Very sweet. I do have a feeling that we will not be “lighting up their world” when they are teenagers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Christine Duncan says
It’s true, before you know it, it’ll be letting go time… I once had a toddler, now she’s in her third year of university!, lol. But when you cherish these early years with them, you can also see the goodness and faithfulness of God later, in both your lives.
This was such a beautiful post! Glad I got to visit from the #RaRaLinkup
admin says
Yes! There is so much goodness and faithfulness that our Savior gives us!
Kortney says
My oldest is getting ready to go into first grade, which will be a hard transition to have her away from me all day long. I am truly trying to cherish all the moments I have with my little kids because they really do fly by! Stopping by from Testimony Tuesday
admin says
I’m sure that will feel like a huge change for you! Yes, it flies by.
Kelly Mock says
They grow so so fast! I cringe thinking about a time where by baby girl doesn’t need me!
admin says
Oh, I’m sure she will always need her momma! It will just look VERY different when she is older. :)
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says
That’s funny, my 3-year-old asks me the same question. Every time I say she’s going somewhere, she asks “where will you be?” I think it’s a sign of their budding maturity to want to know what to expect (whether we’re staying or dropping them off,) and asking ahead so they have time to process and prepare. Pretty cool, I think.
Keri says
Really love this- it is so hard to let go. I struggle with this- thanks for sharing with Tues Talk!
Ruth Clemence says
This is beautiful – I am not a momma yet, but I think this is really special and thank you for sharing your heart! Blessings friend! :)
admin says
Thanks for reading!
Rachel says
So very sweet!! She is blessed to have you as a momma. Just wait till she hits the tween and teen stage…eeeeek ;) God gives us what we need for each season that is for SURE. <3
admin says
Thanks, Rachel.
Oh, I’m not ready for that stage!! Yes, I’ll be praying for strength and guidance when that time comes!!
Michelle says
This is so touching. It brought tears to my eyes. My daughters (3) are grown and I am the WORST at letting go. Even as they are adults, I hang on a bit too tight at times. Of course, I don’t show it to them, but after a day with each other, especially with the grandchildren here, when they leave, I silently fall apart inside. I know sappy, but they all are quite independent, it is just that, “once a mom, always a mom” thing.
admin says
Very sweet. Yes, you are always a mom. You clearly love your daughters! What a special relationship.
Candace says
I think we have a much harder time with attachment and letting go than they do :). It gets easier in some ways and harder in others. Being a mommy is the hardest, yet most beautiful and amazing role we will ever carry out.
admin says
“hardest, yet most beautiful and amazing role” Agree!! Thanks for sharing.
Jamie G says
We’re raising adults! And though we’re not ready yet to let go when they need us to be we will be :) Great post – visiting from Holley Gerth. http://www.reflected.me
KC says
I remember that age and not wanting to let go either, I worked on it a little at a time and still am working on it. Now we are at age 11 and 10 and it’s still a process I work on daily. I tell myself that, probably by the time they make it through the teen years I will be more then ready ;) Thanks for sharing and bringing back sweet memories of when mine were younger and needed me more. Visiting from RaRaLinkup
admin says
I’m sure it will be quite the process for me.
Thanks for sharing!
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
We hold them and we let them go. Thankfully the process is gradual because our poor mama hearts wouldn’t be able to handle it otherwise.
Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
admin says
Yes, I’m thankful it’s a gradual process!! No, my heart couldn’t handle it otherwise. :)
Sarah Donegan says
My girls are 6 and 8, and their first days of school were brutal for me. Terrible. But we all adjusted fast, and now I look forward to when they get off the bus :)
We take it one day at a time.
admin says
I just cannot imagine the school years. It will be odd to send them off for the day! That is great it was a quick adjustment for you all.
Summer says
These little ones grow so fast…holding on and letting go at the same time–wow, it’s just hard! It makes me wonder how God does it with all of us, haha. Thanks for sharing! :)
Kelly Balarie says
I love that she came wanting that little hug. Oh, just to hold her close. How precious. Thank you for your heart-string pulling post. It was touching. Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.
admin says
Yes, hold them close!
Toni says
How precious. I wish I could rewind the time. My boys are now both teenagers with the oldest about to be 15…I am having to learn about a whole new letting go. He will be driving a car shortly and a few of his friends are already driving. It just terrifies the mess out of me to let him move on to that step.
admin says
Driving…yikes. Good luck with that!
Yes, I already want to rewind time some days. I cannot imagine how I will feel when they are teenagers!
Tarissa @ Introverted Mama says
Such a sweet post! I’m thankful to have the opportunity to let go a little bit at a time, rather than all at once. But even now that my girls are in their teens and twenties, I still love it when one of them needs me for something. Goodness, sometimes I still need a hug from MY mama, so I hope they never grow out of it completely! :-)
admin says
Thanks for commenting. I still need my mom also. :)
Yes, I’m thankful that it’s a gradual process. I hope they never grow from needing a hug from mom!
Debbie says
I am already bracing myself for when my 15 year old daughter leaves home as I realize now how fast time passes. This morning I dropped her at her school for her 1st trip away (three days in Athens), she barely looked back as she strode confidently over to join her friends by the bus.
I know that independence is important for our children, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am sat here now feeling a little lost, (the house is far too quiet and tidy) but knowing she’ll be back before I know it telling me all about her trip. Well, the bits she wants me to know.
#SHINEbloghop
admin says
Thank you for sharing! I hope your daughter enjoys her trip and that you survive. ;)
Rebecca says
Loved your post. Children grow up so fast and soon (way too soon) they are gone and building their own lives. Hold those sweet children close !!!!
admin says
Thanks for reading! Yes, hold the sweeties close. :)
Iulia Gulia (Best of Baby) says
The “I won’t need you there” comment kind of broke my heart a little bit…
admin says
Thankfully she was smiling and laughing so she wasn’t being snotty about it…
Terri Presser says
Enjoy these moment as everyone says they grow up so fast and they are right. With the right training and connection to God your daughter will grow into a beautiful, independent person who’s trust is in Him. Thank you for sharing at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings
admin says
I sure hope so! Thanks for the encouragement!
Arabah says
There are seasons for everything and if only we could fully enjoy each one! We’d all be such better moms. Thanks for linking with Grace and Truth~ pinning this post now :)
admin says
Yes, trying to enjoy each season. Thanks for reading!
Jenny @ Women With Intention says
It is so hard to let go! We’ve already began our countdown until summer vacation! I love spending time with my kids, it’s not always easy but it’s wonderful. Thank you for sharing at Women With Intention Wednesdays! I look forward to what you will be sharing this week!
admin says
Ready for summer vacation already?? :)
I don’t have kiddos in school, so I don’t even know what it’s like to send them off to school!
Sharon Rowe says
A thought provoking post! Thanks for sharing on Monday Madness Link Party :)